In the 22 years since we had come to Mars, I had been able to establish a single currency, the International Dollar, and Basic English had become the official language. The francophones were still pissed at that, but I had not had anything to do with that directly, it just happened. World government was almost fully established, and it was running pretty well. There were a few holdouts, but I didn't thing they would last another 10 years.Of course, I did not rule the galaxy. That would have been impossible, even if I had wanted to do that. You would literally have to be crazy to try for that; there were over 20 billion different races in the galaxy, and only about half of them were oxygen breathers. The sheer red tape involved in trying to govern such a diverse group would have ground everything to a halt.Of course, the sheer impossibility of ruling the galaxy did not keep some people from trying. Right now, we were involved in a war with a group of people with a fanatical religious. You are five feet, five inches, fiveinches shorter than Mary. And your five feet, fiveinches, are composed of pure flab. Mary showed me apicture of you in a bathing suit. What a shapeless messyou are!I am SIX feet, five inches, a full foot taller than you.Literally as well as figuratively, Mary looks up to meand down at you, wimp. At 190 pounds, I’m the same weightas you. But what a difference! You could look with amagnifying glass and you wouldn’t find a speck of flab onmy body. I have dark hair with just a dash of gray, andpeople tell me I have movie star looks. But perhaps youthink I’m exaggerating.. Why don’t you go ask Mary toshow you the picture of me in my dress suit. Go ahead,before you read any further..Why the crestfallen look, wimp? So I wasn’t exaggeratinga bit! In fact, I was being modest, wasn’t I? Guesswhat, wimp? Throughout this letter you are going to bethinking I must be exaggerating, but you are going tofind out that.
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